Driving along the rural roads of Lacombe, Alberta I was present to the moment – the beautiful morning, buffalo grazing, hay bales on the prairies and the peacefulness of a quiet highway. Not knowing too much about my destination, I was touched by the warm welcome of people introducing themselves as participants at Serenity Ranch, guiding me to a parking spot and welcoming me with gracious smiles and hand shakes. After some connecting with new and old friends we were lead into a large building that is under construction. As I listened to Jim Gray, Owner of Serenity Ranch, I was touched by his passion to help people with addictions, and learned about his dream and the ranch that has helped over 800 people. Today, wasn’t about addictions, it was about Leadership and mental mindset, an opportunity for almost 200 people to experience Robin Sharma.
At least two years ago I purchased a book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, it has sat on my library shelf amongst many other books waiting to be read. Funnily enough, I still haven’t read it – yet! Three weeks ago I bought Secret Letters of the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, I read it in one sitting and was touched to the core by the messages within the covers that I so desperately needed to hear. I was inspired to read it after my friend, Kim Berube, shared on Facebook that Robin Sharma was coming to Lacombe. I have followed Robin on Twitter for quite some time, and have always been touched with his honesty, humility and willingness to connect with his readers. So I thought, why not, I’m going.
The timing of today couldn’t have been better. My sister, niece and nephew left yesterday for Australia after a four and a half week visit. Holding my two year old niece, knowing I will miss out on so many “firsts”, saying good bye to my 16 year old nephew who has grown into such a fine young man, was painful. On this visit, I connected with my sister like I have never before, I finally saw her worry and concern for me from a place of unconditional love and with the intention of only seeing what was best for me and my family. Knowing that it may be one to two years before I see them again breaks my heart.
It was also timely in that I have been through a rough time emotionally this past six weeks, dealing with the debilitating darkness of depression, and upheaval of anxiety. I had a humble awakening two weeks ago, that set the wheels in motion for what I am committing to now – me. Today, Robin shared many gifts of knowledge, wisdom and leadership. Amongst many of the gems I have taken away, I am committing to his challenge of 100 days, to a 5am Club and making the commitment to myself to reconnect with Lee.
I have become so wrapped up in trying to prove myself as a credible, generous and wise person that serves many people in darkness, that I lost myself. I hurt my family by being connected to my passion and purpose above all else, and I have hurt myself by not taking care of me. An inner conflict has been brewing, wanting to help others in their darkness, worried that if I step back I will be letting people down. The guilt has been overwhelming to a point that I haven’t been able to read emails, private facebook or twitter messages in fear that someone will be reaching out for help and I am unable to give them the support they need in this moment. The other fear is the messages from the naysayers, messages with hurtful intent and malice.
This evening, as I sat in the humble hotel room that I have booked till Sunday, I reflected, journalled, planned and created. Moving forward I am making a commitment – 100 days of Reconnecting to Lee. The image I chose was taken over ten years ago on Cronulla Beach in Sydney, Australia. The magical moment captured by my best friend of 34 years Jenine. When she shared it a couple of weeks ago, I recalled the moment as if it was yesterday. I connected with the Lee in the photo – carefree, playful, fun, healthy, alive and free. A Lee who was overjoyed with being a Mom. This is the Lee, I want to reconnect to. So how do I do it? Me being a planner I needed to first set up a plan of action, very similar to what I created when I did the Bring it On Challenge in 2011.
Beginning Monday September 10, 2012 – which happens to be World Suicide Prevention Day, I am making my commitment to choose a healthy life. I have created three goals that focus on me, family and giving back. Knowing that my time online will be reduced significantly I have also set up FREE tools for you to utilize and share, and hopefully you will be inspired to make some positive changes in your life as I share my 100 Day Commitment to Reconnecting with Lee. If you would like to do your own 100 Day Commitment please click here for a free PDF download.