My first time picking up a brush in a long time... A Beautiful Release
This past week I have read two incredible books, both so uniquely different – first “Stories I Only Tell my Friends” by Rob Lowe: a refreshingly honest & entertaining memoir of a young boy whose people-pleasing and suppressed emotions created a trail of unhealthy response to fame & fortune. Thankfully he found unconditional love, support and honesty from someone who had his best interests at heart (his now wife Sheryl) along with his courage and strength to get the help needed to move past his self-sabotaging choices and actions. The next book “The Invitation“by Oriah: based on her amazing poem The Invitation, this book in Oriah’s eloquence and raw vulnerability deeply impacted me. Looking within as I read the chapters on Betrayal and Failure, my heart was ripped open wide to my deepest truth and desire, that my need to belong and feel accepted starts right here with me!
I have made a decision to Unplug for 60 days, what does this mean? NO Facebook, NO Twitter, NO email, NO texting, NO blogging - it has become far too easy for me to get lost and caught up in the online world, and as I witness myself checking my iPhone an unhealthy amount of times to see if someone has “liked”, “commented” or “retweeted” I finally see this is unhealthy! I have been looking to external gratification and acceptance for the feeling of belonging that I so desire. I see a pattern of desperation and looking for acknowledgement and acceptance that I will not receive online or anywhere for that matter until I hold it deep within myself.
One of my dear friends just called me from Moscow, she sent me a facebook message, “Lee are you still up?” and called me 1am my time 11am in Moscow… she had read my previous blog post and asked “Lee, what can I do for you?” as we chatted away and I listened to her words of wisdom, love, compassion understanding, encouragement and support, I was filled with a deep gratitude for her being there.
A couple of weeks ago I received this in my inbox from another cherished friend: “I really hope you are being gentle and kind with yourself. I think sometimes when we’re looking to step back from something the fear can sometimes be nothing, and be nothing I mean the empty scary place that is left, the reside from letting go, quitting, surrendering, taking a step back or taking a break. But I think that space is a great thing – leaving room for the very thing that is to our highest good and thereby others, to find us. I read somewhere that nature abhors a vacuum. It can be scary living with the ‘space’ because we are so conditioned to believe we are what we do and keeping busy can be a good distraction from the things that come up when we are still. I think there is too much pressure ‘out there’ to never quite – I happen to disagree. And not that quitting is a finality because as a good friend once said – ‘what’s for you won’t pass you by! Just do whatever feels best, for today, this week or for right now“
And then this from Tina whom I cherish and adore with all of my heart shared this with me: “Lee I saw this on facebook and thought of you….
“Did you know that those who appear to be really strong… really are the most sensitive??.. Did you know that those who spend all their time prote…cting and taking care of others… sometimes really need someone to protect and take care of them?.. Did you know that the hardest thing to say is “I need help” and need to hear “I love you” just like everyone else.” then she wrote I LOVE YOU Lee…”
The truth is, whether you have 5 friends, 100 friends or 1000 friends – just like Rob Lowe, it can take one person to make a life changing, even life-saving difference in your life! In my case, in the past couple of weeks as I struggle and face some challenges, friends have reached out in person (phone or in real life) and asked “how can I help you?” Going through the loss of Sandra has taught me to not take the people I cherish for granted. However, the one person in this world that can make the final decision is YOU, well ME… So my decision to honor me, my physical and mental health is to unplug for 60 days…
This was first inspired by a great video I saw on a friends Facebook wall… “30 Day Personal Revolution” so I started writing my bucket list for the next 30 days – and decided to make it 60 days…
-
Unplug for 60 days.
-
Be a little girl with my daughters, play and have fun.
-
Connect with my hubby.
-
Enjoy time with my Mum & Dad visiting from Australia.
-
Enjoy and embrace the changes coming up with building our new home, and finding a place to live in the process.
-
Spend quality time with family & friends.
-
Journal each and every day.
-
Believe, have faith and trust in me!
-
Find peace.
So with this being said, it’s time for me to honor the commitment to myself, and trust that the high expectations that I put on myself will release and I can find joy again in life’s simple pleasures and treasures.
Happy Canada Day, Stampede and the blessings of a fun filled summer.
Hugs & Love
