“Find teachers who know the path into those mountains you wish to climb. Listen well but observe even better. Example is more important than words.” ~Dan Millman ~
Today I had the opportunity to speak at the Calgary Education Fair about How to Stand Up to Bullies, it warmed my heart to see some teenagers in the crowd intently listening – now that’s courage – to CHOOSE to come listen! Thank you to the amazing Theresa Kondrat Bochulak the Producer of the Calgary Education Fair, her family and friends and to the sponsors and exhibitors who make this event possible. I am very comfortable about talking about mental illness and suicide awareness – bullying is something that can and does lead to the latter, so even though my speaking engagements aren’t usually around bullying I am very passionate about it, as I have experienced it as has my eldest daughter.
In my personal opinion at the root cause of bullying is RELATIONSHIP… How we Stand Up, Speak Up and Show Up in life results in the relationships we are surrounded with.
- Bullying happens to a student in Canada every 7 minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom.
- Adults such as teachers and parents, rarely see the bullying taking place.
- Bullying is a LEARNED behavior and behaviors change through awareness and education.
- Both boys and girls who are victimized, report symptoms of depression, such as sadness, and loss of interest in activities.
- 83% of students indicate that watching bullying makes them feel uncomfortable.
EMPOWER Your Child to Stand Up to Bullies with courage – act brave and walk away.
EMPOWER Your Child to Speak Up and reach out to an adult for help.
EMPOWER Your Child to Show Up with kindness, acceptance and truth.
EMPOWER: to enable and hold someone as able to be able to do something, at times with guidance and support
EDUCATE: Ensure your child is aware of the effects and seriousness of bullying.
MODEL: You are the role model to your child, be aware of the behaviors YOU are modelling for your child. If you are always yelling and screaming at your child, how do you think they are going to treat others?
PROACTIVE: Provide a safe space for your child to fully express their emotions, speak to your school, teachers and other parents about proactive programs you can introduce into your school.
OPPORTUNITY:Give your child the opportunity to be heard, listen with full attention and intention – no interrupting. Our family does “What was the Best part and what was the worst part of your day?” at the dinner table OR our PAZ (Positive Attitude Zone) Talk Cards – this gives the opportunity for healthy conversation and discussion to take place.
WORTH: Emphasize your child’s gifts: self-worth and self-esteem play a huge role in their life. Are you pointing out their strengths and gifts on a regular basis?
ENCOURAGE: Show gratitude and positive reinforcement to your child. Encourage them to shine brightly in their own individuality, encourage them to stand up for what they believe in.
RESPECT: Help your child to value and respect qualities in themselves and others. Respect each individual, don’t focus on right or wrong – it’s all about respecting each human being.
In today’s hectic pace now more than ever it is important to create open, authentic and healthy relationships with our children, with ourselves and each other. Topics that should ALWAYS be open for discussion with our children and really for anyone:
- Make good decisions in how you treat yourself and your peers – teach people how to treat you and treat others how you would like to be treated.
- Stand up for what you believe in from a place of love, not control or ego.
- Feeling good about who you are and loving yourself.
- Let your children know that you are ALWAYS there for them, you have their back and love them unconditionally.
Books
These are some of my favorite books that I read with my girls: inspiring, real, authentic and beautiful – a MUST add to your home library. Click on the image for the link to the websites.
Little Bird You are Perfect
The Little Rose
You are Sooooo Beautiful
Real Friends vs The Other Kind
- No Risk No Rewards
Resources
Government of Alberta, Child & Youth Services Bully Free
Important Phone Numbers
Bullying Help Line 1-888-456-2323
ConnecTeen 403-264-TEEN (8336)
Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868
Videos
WARNING – Hero video clip has some graphic content
