You are here: Home / I Am Brave / Brave Stories

Believing that Better is Possible After Suicide

July 25, 2012 By Lee 2 Comments

The unthinkable right, believing that better is possible after suicide?  Not the case for Jaclyn Olsen, Founder of Diffusion Solutions.  I had the absolute joy and honor of meeting Jaclyn earlier this year.  Doing so, I can honestly say has brought a tremendous amount of love, inspiration and beauty into my life.

When I asked Jaclyn why she was so passionate about Going Blue 4U, she shared this with me:

Going Blue 4 U is close to my heart as I had a struggle for years with anxiety and depression silently due to stigma. Sadly, April 16th 2002, my Dad chose to end his life.

I did not realize the magnitude this would have as an effect in my life, my family’s lives and those who loved him so very much. Suicide has been labelled a selfish disease because it only thinks about its self. My dad thought about everyone else, all the time. He just wanted the pain to end, for all of us.

At the time and for a few years after – myself and different members of my family struggled to cope and keep the depression at bay. We still didn’t talk about it. We didn’t know how to. Through the years I’ve worked with some amazing counselors and have used this experience to find my voice, and work on creating a platform of conversation.  A few years ago I chose to use the loss of my Dad as a motivator.  His life was not going to be in vain.

Recently when aligning with Going Blue 4 U, my Mom shared that my Dad’s parents had wanted to say his death was a heart attack.  People in our family don’t commit suicide.  Thankfully my mom knew this wasn’t an option.

I think of my Dad everyday and I miss him. My Dad was not the man who ever thought of leaving a legacy.  He worked hard & loved his family. That was his legacy. This in another chapter.  A family that can talk about suicide & mental health.

He would have hated the blue hair…

You are so very loved!

 

As I dug deeper, uncovering more about this radiant young woman, I kept finding myself in awe.  I am inspired by her generous heart, her contagious smile and her love for her family.  On her 28th birthday this April she undertook a Birthday Project – 28 Random Acts of Kindness, in one day – her birthday.  This speaks volumes about the vision she has:  Believe in better. Diffusion Solutions was born out of the desire for better; better families, better communities, better relationships.

 

Jaclyn’s Birthday – 28 Random Acts of Kindness

# 1 Wash Someones Car

# 2 Make Someone Feel Special – give a kidlet a manicure

# 3 Practice Gratitude - for all those times my neighbors hauled out my trash bins in the winter while Duncan was away

# 4 Take Time to Talk to a Senior

#5 Spread some Joy – sprinkling coins at the local playground

# 6 Invite a stranger to go in front of you at the grocery store

# 7 Brighten Someones Day –  after sharing what we were doing, our cashier shared with us in her thick maritime accent that is her husband had not passed away last year with cancer, today would have been her 35th wedding anniversary

# 8 Laugh Until Your Sides Hurt - Have fun returning grocery carts at a local market

# 9 Feed the Soul – gave a $10 gift card to a Mom with a little child.

# 10 Encourage a Local Team –  We chose to encourage the local beer league baseball team with ice cream bars.  As we were walking away we overheard them say, “Did that just really happen?!”

# 11 Help Someone Disabled

#12 Clean up Your City - Ollie loved this one. Went to the Mahogany dog park and picked up poop

# 13 Take Care of Four Legged Friends – offered water to thirsty puppies leaving the dog park at Mahogany Dog Park.

# 14 Remind Someone They Matter – dropped off tulips at the community seniors home at Mackenzie Towne Revera Seniors Home.

# 15 Snacks on Me – quarters in the candy machines at the local Dollar Store

# 16 Thank a Hero – swung by Stn 30 to thank our Firefighters at Mackenzie Towne Fire Department

# 17 Lift a Spirit – gave the nurse 5 balloons to give to the 5 kids who needed them the most today at Alberta Children’s Hospital

# 18 H.O.P.E  - Helping Other People Excel – treats for the wonderful nurses on the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) at Alberta Children’s

# 19 Lend a Hand – it’s the little things that matter

# 20 Caring is Sharing – taking time to share a special treat

# 21 Say Thank You – after years of working in a crisis field, I know that little sentiments such as saying thank you often go unspoken. For my partners in the trenches, thank you at Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter.

# 22 Remind Someone of Their Value – a heartfelt note to a woman at the local women’s shelter along with a $25 gift card to a local salon. I left the card with one of the counselors & encouraged them to give it to the women who needed it the most today at Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter.

# 23 Give to Those in Need – put some groceries in the food bank drop box at Superstore

# 24 Notes of Encouragement – a dozen notes of encouragement placed through out books at the local Indigo

# 25 Help Fill Some Hangers – cleaning out the closet for the local Goodwill

# 26 Support a Friend - Natasja Fischer is an amazing local entrepreneur;Transformationalist, Professional Organizer, Speaker, Coach, Stager, Hair Stylist

# 27 Leave a Generous Tip – for those who make a difference

# 28 Count Your Blessings - You are so very loved… XOXO

 

Dream Big – Believe in Better

And it keeps going, Jaclyn has created the Dream Big – Believe in Better Series.

Dream Big is the inital session in an ongoing monthly community series aligned to speak to families and teens who desire better in their lives and relationships. By focusing on family engagement, we believe this creates a platform of support. A common ground to explore, formulate and grow.  Each presentation is designed to open the doors of communication, make you think & inspire greatness through change. Plus a few giggles too…

Jaclyn has arranged for three very enthusiastic, motivated and inspiring speakers to talk about the value of dreaming. Finding their dreams, believing in them and aiming higher.

Attendance is FREE with a donation to the Calgary Inter-Faith Food Bank (donation collection at the theatre).

Reserve your seat HERE for this amazing event on August 22, 2012 at Cardel Theatre.

 

So as you can see Jaclyn is clearly being the change she wishes to see in the world.

 

Worthy Wednesday is about celebrating that you are worthy, we are all worthy, and that you are enough.
Every Wednesday Lee gives a SimpLee Serene Shout Out to an individual or organization being the change they wish to see in the world.

 

Share
Filed Under: Brave Stories, Lee's Blog, Worthy Wednesday Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Parenting and Mental Illness – A Collaborative Blog Series

July 9, 2012 By Lee 11 Comments

Since moderating a Twitter chat for NAMI Massachusetts at the beginning of this year on Parenting with a Mental Illness, I have thrown myself into research and gathering of resources.  It’s been a challenge to find what many people were asking for: scripts for age-appropriate discussions for your children.  Almost everything I have found, tells you to visit your Doctor or therapist.

 

Thanks to brilliant tips and a strategy to follow from Nadine Nicholson on how to create a Collaborative Blog Series, I have decided to create a series on Parenting and Mental Illness – A Collaborative 4 Part Blog Series. A Quiet Strong Voice started as a 15 part Blog Series last year before I published it, and it touched the lives of thousands.  My hope is that this series will too.

 

The Topics for Parenting and Mental Illness

Topics

1. Parenting with a Mental Illness

  • How do I help my child understand my mental illness?
  • What is an age appropriate discussion I can have with my child to educate them and help them understand?
  • How much should I share?
  • What do I do when I am unable to give my child the love and attention they need in my darkest times?
  • Who can I reach out to for support?

These are just some of the questions, I am often asked.  So who better to provide real life experience than the people who are courageously stepping through mental illness and doing the best they can.  This post will feature people who have children aged between 0 – 18.

 

2. Co-Parenting with a Loved One who has a Mental Illness

  • How can I support my loved one while still trying to keep our family as normal as possible?
  • How do I deal with my own frustration with not knowing how to help?
  • Where can I go to find out about the signs and symptoms of mental illness?
  • Who can I turn to for support for myself?
  • How can I help my kids to understand?

I am one of the rare few who have an incredibly supportive spouse.  When I was hospitalized in the psychiatric ward in 2004, Neil was the rock and foundation of our family.  Even through his own fears and frustration, he powered on, doing the best he could.  This post will feature people who have supported a love one with mental illness while raising a family.

 

3. Parenting a Child with a Mental Illness

  • My child has just been diagnosed with a mental illness what do I do?
  • How can I best support my child through their mental illness?
  • How do I help my child accept that they need professional help?
  • Who can I trust to share this with?
  • How do I get the support as a parent, that I need to help my child?

Thankfully I have not had to deal with this personally.  My daughters are 12 and 9 years old.   This post will feature people who are successfully helping and supporting their children through mental illness.

 

4. Being the Child of a Parent with Mental Illness

  • How does my mental illness affect my children?
  • How much should I share with them?
  • Should I just keep it to myself and not tell them?
  • What must they think when I am in my moods and unable to function?
  • Who do they get the support they need from?

I have many people sharing with me how grateful they are for the work I do, that is helping others speak up and not be ashamed about their mental illness.  I have heard some heartbreaking stories from adults who grew up with a parent with mental illness.  This post will feature people who grew up with a parent with a mental illness.

 

Call for Guest Bloggers and Series Guidelines

If you are interested in being a guest blogger for this series following are the guidelines:

  1. Word count – 100 to 300 words.
  2. Above are the questions often asked, be sure to intertwine this into your article.
  3. Use real life examples, people connect with stories that are real – that they can relate to. You do not need to share the names of your children if you don’t wish to.  If you notice, I never use my daughters names for privacy and boundary reasons.
  4. You can use links to books, resources or information that have helped you throughout your journey.
  5. Men and women are encouraged to submit their stories.

 

Please submit your article HERE by August 15, 2012.  There will be editing support, please don’t NOT submit your story because you feel you are not worthy.  You are worthy, and you deserve to be heard and accepted.

Thank you for creating the conversation and real life experience to share with others who may not know what to do or where to go.  I am confident this will be an incredible series, that will provide many people across the world the resources, hope and tools they need.

Share
Filed Under: Brave Stories, Depression & Anxiety, I Am Brave, Lee's Blog Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Gemma Stone – Providing Psychology with Love

May 31, 2012 By Lee 8 Comments

Once in a while you will be blessed with meeting someone who will become a lifetime friend, confidante and constant source of love and support.

This is what happened for me when I met Gemma Stone.

Several years ago, I found Gemma and began therapy with her. I was instantly touched by her compassion and external beauty. I quickly found that her internal beauty matched the beautiful blue eyes, stunning red hair and warm, loving smile.

It was an easy choice to add Gemma to the community of women I am grateful to surround myself with.  I have had the blessing and good fortune to work closely with Gemma in her Psychology practice the past six months. What I have witnessed is pure love, dedication, commitment and unwavering support for those she serves.

At the launch of my new book A Quiet Strong Voice, which Gemma wrote the foreword to, Gemma spoke. When she spoke, EVERYONE listened. I have received NUMEROUS messages of gratitude and loving acknowledgment of Gemma’s message. With her loving permission – here is what she shared.

 

We all have a story. I want to tell you three short stories tonight. That’s it, no big deal, just three short stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots…this is my story.

I started this life in struggle and suffering. Sexual abuse darkened my childhood. I felt the devastation of depression. Panic attacks stole a portion of my adolescence. I let fear dictate my every decision and thoughts of suicide stifled my early adulthood.

They say we teach the lessons we need to learn. That’s my life story, summed up in a sentence. I have suffered…and searched for answers to relieve my suffering because I wanted to find solutions. To heal myself — and others.

In my search for knowledge, I found wisdom. I began to see the purpose in my pain. It was my suffering that drove me to my life’s work. It drove me to feel deeply and love fiercely.

The second story is about a fork in the road…this is my story of meeting Lee

After a decade of searching for answers I ended up with a few degrees in psychology and hung out my shingle in hopes that I might be able to help someone. I entered my profession and began telling people that I was a psychologist. I now know, that I was hiding behind my degrees and credentials hoping that someone might like my professional story and want to work with me.

Then I met Lee.

Lee brought courage with her. And thankfully, she left a little behind for me.

Lee inspired me to share my own story of darkness and suffering, a story I never thought I would share with the world. Lee helped me to see the truth: it is in sharing our stories that we can really begin to change the world in a meaningful way. I decided to start sharing my story and that is what has made all the different. Lee helped me to take the road less travelled. And for that I am eternally grateful.

The third story is about offering light in darkness…a story of a quiet strong voice.

I have learned that the most important journey we can take is the one that takes us into knowing and loving ourselves. “A Quiet Strong Voice” is a story of that journey. This book hits home for me because I took that same journey and I’ve walked beside my clients as they find their way.

When living in the depths of depression and behind the veil of anxiety, trying to find your own way out can be difficult. What I love about this book is that it is a map for those who are lost. It’s an engaging story that emphasizes the lessons that Lee gleaned throughout her struggle. It is a toolbox of practical strategies. It is a reservoir of inspiration to help others find their way.

There is someone in my life who is very precious to me. Recently, she was struggling and in a very dark place. When she told me what was going on for her– Lee and A Quiet Strong Voice was what came to mind.

Out of hundreds of books I have in my library and the thousands of resources that I have access to, I knew without a doubt, that this book was what I wanted her to have.

If you have a loved one who is going through a tough time, I would encourage you to reach out, offer your love and support, and provide them with this valuable tool.

The benefits of hearing the real life experience of someone who has struggled through depression and anxiety are undeniable. Hearing about the journey from someone who is open, real, self-aware and courageous can be tremendously healing.

It is in sharing our stories that others come to see that they are not alone.
I would love to see A Quiet Strong Voice in the hands of everyone who needs hope and support.

And as you move into the story of your life…may you find comfort and strength in your quiet strong voice.

Gemma Stone, Registered Clinical Psychologist, Author and Speaker

 

May you find someone like Gemma in your life.

Share
Filed Under: Brave Stories, Lee's Blog Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

A Personal Story of Dealing with Anxiety

May 23, 2012 By Lee 4 Comments

On October 16, 2011 – a day I will not soon forget, I received an almost overwhelming amount of cries for help. One included a message from a friend – scared, worried, almost beside herself on how she could help her 18 year old daughter.  Kim, did what I would hope every mother would do – try with all her might to her help daughter, research different ways and approaches to help her, be there for her unconditionally and be willing to stand by her side no matter what.

On May 17, 2012 Paige bravely shared her story on her Facebook page.  Her Mom, proudly shared it with her friends.  The outpouring of love and support was beautiful to watch.  After receiving permission from Paige – here is her story.

 

I don’t know If there is any point in writing this note, or if someone who needs help will end up reading it but I want to share my personal story and let anyone know that there is a way up, no matter what. If you need help ask. There is always someone who is there.

My name is Paige. I am a bubbly, beautiful, interesting eighteen year old. I am an artist, a singer, a musician, a friend, a daughter, a sister and much more. As of today I am also happy:)

Since I was a little girl I have always had anxiety. It is a disorder. It runs in my family and alot of the women have it. Along with a kinda fucked up child hood that doesnt make a good mix.  Two years ago I began to feel really low. I stopped caring about my life. I had the belief that I was a disgusting, fat, ugly peice of shit who sucked at everything and could never do anything right. I literally had zero self asteem. I hated the mirror because that meant I had to look at myself and would get mad when people would compliment me because they were lying and it was out of pity. My energy level quickly ran out, I literally could not get out of bed sometimes. I cried everyday, and could no longer remember what true joy felt like. You know that little spark of excitment and when your heart feels warm and full of love? I could no longer feel it. I woke up every day for my family and friends.

For a year I did alot of counseling and work on loving myself, a paid therapist, group counseling, individual with both the lacombe and Reddeer mental health centers, and eventually I was put of the anti depresent/anxiety pills, Celexa. I only agreed to go on pills because for the first time I had thought about killing myself. I did not want to die. I dont believe anyone who is depressed wants to die. When you cant feel anything but sorrow, hopelessness and physical exhaustion its very hard to keep going.

I was on for celexa for about three months but it was not working, the doctors fix? Up the dossage! I quickly went from taking twenty milligrams a day, to thirty and then fourty. My body and mind didn’t agree with that. It completely screwed me up. One night I was crying laying alone on my bed. I had taken my medication then went to bed. I was crying and scared and mad and done with everything. I went into my closet and grabbed a belt. I just wanted to see what it felt like.. If I could actually do it. I tied the belt around my closet pole and wrapped it around my neck. I wasn’t thinking about anything the entire time. I dropped my legs from underneith myself and let myself hang. I could feel my veins enlarging and my air supply was cut off. I hung there for a while. I dont know what stopped me. My family and friends and the fact that I wanted to live, I just couldnt. After that I told Katie what I had done and she called my mom. I think that was the night that my mom realised how serious it was. I had never told her that I was suicidal because for some reason it was embarrassing to me and I didn’t want to upset her. After that night I was taken off Celexa.

For a couple months I stayed off anti depresents until I had another big break down. Mom took me to emergency and I was put on Prozac. The new anti depresent actually improved how I felt a bit and didn’t have the effects on me that Celexa did. Such as nausea and being numb to any emotion or feelings. All of this happened from about september to december. In January 2012 I went to a retreat called the Hoffman Process. It is an eight day intensive therapy treatment that works on the first twelve years of a persons life. I didnt know if this applied to me at all or if It would work, but my mom had put alot of money and research into it and hadnt found one bad thing out. Frankly I didnt give a shit anymore and was willing to try anything. I believe it was the thirteenth when I left. I left a chronicly depressed person. I had no love for myself, knew no joy and was manipulative towards others. I had crippling anxiety. Even though I didnt know what to expect I had a strange sense of hope.

Eight days later my parents picked me up in Caroline at the retreat. I was completely anxiety and depression free, and for the first time I loved myself and knew I was hot as hell! That was truley the best gift I have ever given. I am beyond grateful for that experiance. My life has completely changed. Today, I have flaws. I do not claim to be perfect or happy all the time, but I have healthy emotions and feelings:) I do have daily practices I do to stay in such a wonderful state and keep moving forward. It is hard work! I look within myself to find happiness and have inner peace and love. Unfortunatley I will not share what I went through at the Hoffman process. It is an experiance that each person has to experiance themselves. It saved my life.

 

Each person is unique in their own experience.

Each person is unique in what works and doesn’t work for them.

Each person is unique in how they move onwards and upwards.

Thank you to Paige for bravely sharing her truth in hopes of inspiring others to realize they are not alone, they are brave and they will get through this.

Share
Filed Under: Brave Stories, Lee's Blog Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

A Personal Story of Survival and Courage after Attempted Suicide attempted suicide

May 14, 2012 By Lee Leave a Comment

Stories of courage, of vulnerability, of real life struggles are what inspire me on a daily basis.

The story of Clint Malarchuk is one that has touched me deeply on so many levels. A Brave Man in one of the toughest sports in the world – hockey. In this incredible story written by Dan Robson of Sports Net Magazine, Dan takes you through the pain that Clint experienced while going through severe depression, OCD, anxiety – which resulted in a very near fatal suicide attempt.

 

There are no words that I can add other, than – this is an incredible story of courage, hope, resilience, determination, the love of a wife – thank you Joanie, and the bravery of a man speaking up to inspire others to choose life.

 

A MUST watch and read……

Clint Malarchuk – The Survivor

Also tune into Fan 960 interviewing Dan and Clint

 

Clint volunteers through the Canadian Mental Health Association

Please remember….

Share
Filed Under: Brave Stories, Depression & Anxiety, Lee's Blog Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Older Posts
Rss Feed Tweeter button Facebook button Linkedin button Youtube button

© 2012-2013 SimpLee Serene All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright