Creating a New Year that you desire and deserve is more than just a New Year’s resolution.  Each year almost 50% of the population commit to a New Year’s resolution.   Of that 50%, only 8% are successful in achieving their goal.  In 2012, the top six resolutions were:

1. Lose weight.
2. Get organized.
3. Spend less, save more.
4. Enjoy life to the fullest.
5. Staying fit and healthy.
6. Learn something exciting.

Personally, I do not make a New Year’s resolution.  Instead, I set the intention for the life I would like to live for the year ahead – a way of BEing versus DOing.  I begin with enjoying time with my daughters in creating our Dream Boards for the year ahead. This year I created something very different to what I have in years gone by.  I allowed my creativity to flow, and created this dream board that speaks to the softer, simpler and more creative side of me.

6 Steps to Create a New Year Your Desire and Deserve

Step 1 – Creating Your Dream Board
Start by connecting to your dreams by asking some thought-provoking questions:

• If you were living the life you want to live, how would you feel?
• What is it that you value?
• What do you want more of in your life?
• What do you want less of in your life?
• At the end of 2013, what will make you proud?

Once you have an idea of what you want in 2013, it’s time to allow your creative juices to flow.  Have fun, enjoy this time for you. Go through magazines, photo albums, newspapers and cut out images, words, quotes or anything that speaks to you.

Supplies:
Board: you can use poster board, canvas panels, and/or fabrics.
Medium: you can use paints, markers, pencils, and/or crayons.
All of the above can be picked up inexpensively at a dollar store.

For my dream board I used a primed canvas panel, which I painted with acrylic paint.  I used cuttings from magazines, and rocks. I laid them out on a piece of paper the size of my canvas and then used a hot glue gun to adhere it all to the canvas board.

Step 2 – Breaking it Down

For each of the dreams I have on my board, I break each one down.

A Healthy Balance: for me this is about physical and mental health.  What are the steps I need to do to create this?

• Exercise three times a week.
• Eat five healthy meals a day.
• Meditate daily.
• Journal and reflect daily.

Memories our Family is Making: this is about spending quality time with my family.

• Being present.
• Volunteering at school activities.
• Adventurous vacations.
• Create together.

Step 3 – Accountability

Sit down with your family and/or friends and talk to them about your intentions for 2013.  How do you see them fitting into your plans, and ask them for support in helping you stick to your goals.  It’s always a benefit to have an accountability partner – someone you can check in with on a regular basis to hold you accountable and help you stay true to your intentions and goals.

Step 4 – Plan for Setbacks

Life has a way of throwing hurdles and challenges at you.  Often, when this happens, the first thing to falter are your goals or intentions.  Recognize situations or circumstances that may get in your way.  Plan for them, prepare for them.  And always, give yourself grace when life does get in the way.  As soon as you can, step back on course.  Ensure you have a support team – click HERE for a template of an Emotional Health Plan.

Step 5 – Check In

Be sure to check in on your intentions and goals daily.  Have your dream board located in a visible spot that you can see every day. Look at it, visualize your intentions as real and already happening.

Step 6 – Celebrate

On a regular basis, celebrate your intentions that have come to fruition, including your daily intentions.  The simplest way of doing this is by writing in a gratitude journal.  Each night, reflect on what you are grateful for.  Celebrate larger goals in a way that honours you and encourages you to keep going.

My Wish for You in 2013

May you be present to the ones you love – beginning with self.
May you be surrounded with joy and love.
May you be open to all the possibilities ahead of and within you.
May you be blessed with healthy choices.
Happy New Year everyone.

This past week has been filled with valuable insights and lessons.  Lessons of the light I shine into the world and how it reflects back upon me.  Lessons from my daughter,  and taking accountability for what I was reflecting out to the world.

Two nights ago my 13 year old daughter said “Mom, can we have a talk?”  I knew by the way she said it, her body language, the look in her eyes that something was wrong.  As we lie in her bed together, she openly shared that she is feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Let me interject for a moment. There has been some stress in our home as of late – personal stresses, work related stresses and a sense of chaos with a messy and still unsettled home.

“Mom, I feel so overwhelmed – school, volleyball, homework, band practice and then I come in here (her bedroom) and I feel even more overwhelmed – I just feel stressed Mom. Will you help me organize my room so I can have some peace?”

In most instances, I would say “you made the mess, you clean it up.” however, this is my little girl who is usually meticulous, clean and aware of her environment.  So I knew this was a cry for help.  As I spent one-and-a-half hours in her room, I pulled out clothes from drawers, crafts in every available space, and emptied out her closet.  I thought to myself “no wonder she is stressed, her sanctuary, that is meant to nurture and nourish her is CHAOTIC.”  I lovingly sorted, folded, put in the give away pile and garbage pile anything not needed.  I then did a space clearing in her room, opened the window and lit a lavender candle.  As a parent I took responsibility for my part in the way she was feeling – as this is what I have been reflecting onto her.  When she arrived home she went up to her room, I was downstairs making apple crumble for Neil and she came running down the stairs.  With a tear in her eye, she gave me one of the most beautiful hugs and said “Thank You.”

What did I reflect out into the world with my actions?
Understanding, compassion, kindness and love.

How did she respond?
With gratitude and love.

What was the light that was reflected back on me?
A peaceful space to enjoy a wonderful evening of love, connection and joy with my family.

Later that same day I had received some nasty responses to a facebook post on my personal page.  To evoke such emotion I knew I needed to look within and ask myself what was I reflecting out.

What was the intention of my post?   In part it was to teach others how I wish to be treated, and setting healthy boundaries.  As I re-read it later – I could feel a sense of “I’m Right” within my own words.  Not good.

How did I feel as I was writing it?  I was frustrated and angry.  Something I make my best effort with is giving space between stimulus to response.  Obviously in this case, I had not given enough time.

Although I believe I did not deserve some of the comments I received, in a way my intention of my post, and how I felt as I wrote it were reflected back upon me.  So I deleted the post, took accountability and let go, to make way for an evening with my family.

After this incident I went to coach the girls volleyball team, the night before I had been discussing with my husband that I didn’t know what else I could try with one particular player.  No matter what I had tried, she just didn’t seem to get it. To date, she had yet to serve a ball over the net.  As she went up to serve, once again the ball didn’t go too far.  I could feel myself disappointed.  I took a deep breath and went up towards where she was serving.   I centred myself, detaching from the outcome and having full belief that she could do it.  With that I said to her: “stop, take a moment, breathe. . . now go.”  Guess what!  Not only did it go over the net, she won the point – everyone was jumping up and down with excitement.  Serve two, once again goes over the net.  I turned and looked at her Mom who was brimming with pride.  And for a moment I stopped and said a prayer of thanks. When I shifted my feelings and thoughts, could that have reflected upon her – I would like to think so.

Our evening finished by watching an incredible documentary “Buck”   I couldn’t help but smile at the messages of the day.  It was all a dance –  a message of reflection of how the light I shine into the world by who I am being; my thoughts, feelings and by my actions.   Watch the trailer and you’ll here a similar message. . .

What is the light you are reflecting out to the world?

There is a yearning in my soul for stillness, for solitude and peace.  A desire for the inner conflict to cease.  I long to be a voice for mental illness awareness, to give others hope in times of darkness.  Yet, the darkness in me keeps surfacing and refuses to be still.

I couldn’t sleep tonight, it’s now 2.15am and my heart is pounding, anxiety is keeping me awake, and I am finding myself questioning everything.  Today, two separate messages of young ones whose lives were cut short due to suicide, has pulled at my heartstrings.  As I coached my daughters grade 7 volleyball team this afternoon, I looked into the eyes of the young girls playing.  At times I looked deeper, wondering if they are okay, is there a hidden demon that is tormenting their souls?  Hoping and praying they have a loving support system to help them through troubling times.

I lie in bed tonight, my mind busy with shoulds, what ifs and maybes.  Guilt surfacing, knowing that I can make a difference in the lives of troubled youth today, yet torn with the decision to step back and focus on myself and family.  Am I being selfish, to focus on me, being fully present as a mom, wife and friend, when there are so many dying, so many in darkness and isolation?

I came down to write, in the hopes of releasing some of my anguish.  Hoping to find peace and some quietening of my mind.  Do I have the answers?  No.  What I have in this moment right now is some release.  With anything in life, to help others, first I must nurture, nourish, plant and water the seeds of self-love, self-worth and self-acceptance.  This is what my soul needs.

If you are in crisis please visit www.Befrienders.org for 24 hour Crisis Line listings across the world.
Click HERE for Mental Health Resources.
Click here for free tools and resources.