Sunday evening I laid in bed, heart racing and trying to catch my breath. Increasingly frustrated that I couldn’t sleep did not provide any help, in fact it added to the anxiety.
“Lee, take a deep breath, get up and go get your journal and write.” A Quiet Strong Voice said.
So off I went, manned with my journal I laid in bed and wrote. There was feelings, ideas, concerns, frustrations and gratitude that all poured out. Monday I felt better, the mood was up definitely in part to getting together with four wonderful ladies – a coffee date, lunch date and evening get together.
Then I went to bed. Another sleepless night – waking numerous times, weird and vivid dreams. At one point waking up again to an anxiety attack.
This morning my hubby asked me how was my sleep and I told him, he stopped and with a sense of urgency and concern said “Lee, you know what this means you need to get sleep and take care of yourself.” The concern in his eyes drove through me to the core.
My eldest daughter was running a fever of 101, so I kept her home and upon returning from dropping off my younger daughter at school laid in bed with my daughter. Once again, even though I was exhausted sleep escaped me.
All the voices in my head were full steam ahead: you need to do this, you must do that, what if you did this, what if you didn’t do that… Feelings of anger and frustration surfaced.
“Lee, baby steps! What is one thing you can do right now that will serve you?” A Quiet Strong voice said.
I came downstairs and journaled, reflecting on what is contributing to this? ”But it’s not May!” I kept saying to myself. Usually my depression hits in May and October. Yet, truthfully there are no definites when it comes to depression and anxiety. For me, it surfaces when I am not taking care of myself – and that has definitely NOT been the case this past couple of weeks.
As a Feng Shui Practitioner (I no longer practice) I am VERY in tune to energy – energy of people and surroundings. The clutter and chaos of this move has impacted me emotionally on a huge level, and this past week I am realizing how much.
So I stopped – didn’t log onto to a computer till 12.30pm. I needed to be away from any electromagnetic fields: EMF energy.
I took the time to meditate and find stillness for my mental health. Then I stepped past the feeling of overwhelm and knew I had to find some order in my creation zone. I love creating and writing – they are beautiful passions of mine that I love to share. Not making time for these activities is a big part of how I am feeling. So, I put on Michael Buble, Johnny Reid and Josh Groban and organized my creative space.
Just writing this has helped immensely.
Although these are the steps I take to move past depression and anxiety, they may be different for you.
Remember…
Take action with baby steps. One moment at a time. Be present. Be in the NOW.
Give yourself the gift of:
- Grace
- Permission
- Acceptance
- And there is no need for blame or shame…
Hugs & Love
