This past week has been filled with valuable insights and lessons. Lessons of the light I shine into the world and how it reflects back upon me. Lessons from my daughter, and taking accountability for what I was reflecting out to the world.
Two nights ago my 13 year old daughter said “Mom, can we have a talk?” I knew by the way she said it, her body language, the look in her eyes that something was wrong. As we lie in her bed together, she openly shared that she is feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Let me interject for a moment. There has been some stress in our home as of late – personal stresses, work related stresses and a sense of chaos with a messy and still unsettled home.
“Mom, I feel so overwhelmed – school, volleyball, homework, band practice and then I come in here (her bedroom) and I feel even more overwhelmed – I just feel stressed Mom. Will you help me organize my room so I can have some peace?”
In most instances, I would say “you made the mess, you clean it up.” however, this is my little girl who is usually meticulous, clean and aware of her environment. So I knew this was a cry for help. As I spent one-and-a-half hours in her room, I pulled out clothes from drawers, crafts in every available space, and emptied out her closet. I thought to myself “no wonder she is stressed, her sanctuary, that is meant to nurture and nourish her is CHAOTIC.” I lovingly sorted, folded, put in the give away pile and garbage pile anything not needed. I then did a space clearing in her room, opened the window and lit a lavender candle. As a parent I took responsibility for my part in the way she was feeling – as this is what I have been reflecting onto her. When she arrived home she went up to her room, I was downstairs making apple crumble for Neil and she came running down the stairs. With a tear in her eye, she gave me one of the most beautiful hugs and said “Thank You.”
What did I reflect out into the world with my actions?
Understanding, compassion, kindness and love.
How did she respond?
With gratitude and love.
What was the light that was reflected back on me?
A peaceful space to enjoy a wonderful evening of love, connection and joy with my family.
Later that same day I had received some nasty responses to a facebook post on my personal page. To evoke such emotion I knew I needed to look within and ask myself what was I reflecting out.
What was the intention of my post? In part it was to teach others how I wish to be treated, and setting healthy boundaries. As I re-read it later – I could feel a sense of “I’m Right” within my own words. Not good.
How did I feel as I was writing it? I was frustrated and angry. Something I make my best effort with is giving space between stimulus to response. Obviously in this case, I had not given enough time.
Although I believe I did not deserve some of the comments I received, in a way my intention of my post, and how I felt as I wrote it were reflected back upon me. So I deleted the post, took accountability and let go, to make way for an evening with my family.
After this incident I went to coach the girls volleyball team, the night before I had been discussing with my husband that I didn’t know what else I could try with one particular player. No matter what I had tried, she just didn’t seem to get it. To date, she had yet to serve a ball over the net. As she went up to serve, once again the ball didn’t go too far. I could feel myself disappointed. I took a deep breath and went up towards where she was serving. I centred myself, detaching from the outcome and having full belief that she could do it. With that I said to her: “stop, take a moment, breathe. . . now go.” Guess what! Not only did it go over the net, she won the point – everyone was jumping up and down with excitement. Serve two, once again goes over the net. I turned and looked at her Mom who was brimming with pride. And for a moment I stopped and said a prayer of thanks. When I shifted my feelings and thoughts, could that have reflected upon her – I would like to think so.
Our evening finished by watching an incredible documentary “Buck” I couldn’t help but smile at the messages of the day. It was all a dance – a message of reflection of how the light I shine into the world by who I am being; my thoughts, feelings and by my actions. Watch the trailer and you’ll here a similar message. . .
What is the light you are reflecting out to the world?