It’s as if Debbie Ford wrote Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self-Confidencejust for me. Each page opens up a courageous truth I need to face, a stepping stone to uncover the fears I have held on to for far too long. The fears that keep me repeating patterns, and self-sabotaging. This particular paragraph hit home for me:
“Avoidance – another form of fear – may have you focus on everything but the reality of your life as it is right now, with all the facts and none of the story. You may eat, gossip, blame, party, overwork, or find a hundred other ways to keep your focus on anything other than what wants and needs to be addressed in your life right now. And even though you may want to be strong, courageous, and confident, you may shudder at the thought of making the changes needed in your life – petrified that you won’t be able to do it. So you turn your head away and silently slip back into the trance of denial. Why? Because you feel safe in the story you created. You’re comfortable with your smaller and more “manageable” view of the world, easily identifiable by all the familiar excuses, rationalizations, judgements, and fears.”
Avoidance has played a big part in my life – first and foremost in avoiding taking care of me. Keeping busy, making excuses, and deep down fearful that I will fail yet again at looking after my health, and not making it a long-lasting lifestyle change. My husband would often say “Lee, you are the Queen of excuses.” He stopped saying that a few years back, as I continued to make an excuse for not exercising regularly, not eating healthy, taking time for me, and working way too many hours.
I also recognized the amount of times I have put more value on what others have said versus listening to my internal knowing. Interesting, that this quote from Gemma Stone shared on her twitter feed popped out at me this morning. The amount of times I have dis-empowered myself, going against my own intuition and acting upon the external information instead. This truly is a huge awareness for me, as I recognize many times in my past, and up until this past week – that I have lacked the self-confidence and courage to say – NO – that isn’t true for me, and followed my intuition on how to deal with a situation, rather than acting upon the words of another.
What are you avoiding, or pretending not to know?
I am taking 100 Days to Reconnect with Lee for my mental and physical wellness.
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